The Magic Question That Turns Transactions Into Relationships
In short, the problem with people asking for what they need, is they used only their brain to figure out what they need. It is far more powerful to also use the brain of the person on the other side of the table.
So, next time you are in a negotiation, instead of stating what you (think you) need, or even asking the other party what they (think they) need, instead ask this:
“What problem are you trying to solve?”
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It's also a very good question to ask when dealing with feature requests in software. It not only brings a greater understanding of how people are really using your software, but it provides the opportunity for the developer(s) to come up with a better/easier/etc. solution to the problem than the feature/feature design the user initially thinks is the way to go.
